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And breathe….
I realised that I didn’t do my update on my blog! This week has been a whirlwind since getting my PET scan results because we are travelling the week and I have so much to get ready! Anyway, my PET scan didn’t show anything new and ominous and in the words of my oncologist “It’s very, very good!” which is the best news ever! My husband and I were talking about the differences in how we feel – the waiting zone and the good news zone – it’s literally two separate worlds! That surge of relief and happiness is quickly followed by complete exhaustion from the anxiety! No matter how…
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But I don’t want to go there…
Where is there? It’s the future, even just a few weeks ahead gives me palpitations. My husband I had a feedback session with my daughter’s psychologist this week. She was talking about Arabella’s schooling and how there’s a good high school called bla bla in bla bla near where we live….it was only chit chat but I secretly sat there wanting to cry. I cannot deal with the future because, I am scared I may not be there and I have worked so hard to live in the present moment, but that doesn’t mean that the future doesn’t pop up though! I had to calm my thoughts and recenter –…
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What’s stopping you?
I used to live in past and worry about the future all the while missing out on the present. We have heard it before life changing events can change our perspectives and I for one, learnt about gratitude and to focus on today. In fact the future terrifies me now so much that I rarely go into that territory! As for the past, well what can I change? Nothing, so why bother. I have dealt with certain traumas and accepted them for what they are. I am sure on a subconscious level, things still lurk about but I can’t control that. Life has become so much lighter, stress has been…
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Life as I currently know it
I have not updated in like forever ( I say that on every post!) and they’re always on my Instagram stories so some of you miss them! Quick recap for those who don’t know me that well. I had a recurrence of colon/bowel cancer mets in my liver October 2021. A 3cm lesion was cut out and I went into remission AGAIN! I’m currently on IV Oxaliplatin three weekly. Side effects (I get are neuropathy, nothing cold at all or my digits do all kinds of weird things and my throat closes. Bad nausea and overall exhaustion. I am up and about but I can’t drive until at least day…
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A special message
I just wanted to pop on and send a special message to my friends who are on active treatment or have had treatments/scans delayed, who have had bad news and those who have lost loved ones or are missing someone. I have chatted with several friends over the course of the holidays and while so many are celebrating (rightly so) many people have been scared, sick or broken hearted. These are the people that teach me humility, when I think my life isn’t perfect, one message can bring me back to reality and teach me to appreciate this life. So often I can get swept away with all the things…
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Martin’s Marathon
Martin Scheeper is running this year’s SANLAM Cape Town Marathon supporting and raising funds for the Filotimo Cancer Project. Martin is an ambassador for Filotimo, a charity he holds very close to his heart. Martin became involved with the charity when his partner Nikki, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer. Nikki was a Cancer Champion for Filotimo and was an avid campaigner, raising awareness about breast and all cancers. I had the privilege of meeting Nikki once at the Filotimo Charity Run, and I was in awe of despite how ill she was, she showed up with a smile on her face to support others; truly inspiring! Martin is…
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Why?
Why? Why? Why? How many times have you asked yourself this question? It’s not an exclusive question to someone who has or has had cancer. If the voice in your head was a real person, you would look at them like they were completely fucking mad! I read that in The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer, a great read by the way. My ‘whys’ used to be so much simpler, although at the time they seemed so significant. Many whys will go away or can be solved by actions, my ‘cancer why’ is forever present. So, when I was diagnosed, I asked myself why? Why me? What did I…
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Cancer and exercise
So, you had cancer and want to start exercising, this post is a no frills look at the benefits of exercise post cancer. Whether you were fit before or not, makes no difference, cancer came and went, and we have evolved, we are not the same physically or mentally. I say hit that reset button and find the routine that works for you. I got together with Tommy, a colon cancer survivor (read his story here) to give you a glimpse of his workouts and my own, and talk about how exercise helps us cope with those lovely post-cancer issues such as anxiety, depression and muscle loss (there’s a long…
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Chanez’s synovial sarcoma story
Life as I know it – The beginning of 2012 I thought: ‘Why is my leg so painful? Maybe I pulled a muscle while playing hockey, I should probably go to the physio.’ The beginning of 2020 (pre COVID), I thought: ‘I don’t want to die! I don’t want to feel pain! I really don’t want to die!’ These two thoughts seem worlds and years apart but are both related to the same thing, the awful thing I did not see coming – cancer. I was laying in bed one evening in August 2012 when I felt a lump in my left thigh. It was not painful.…
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Dawn’s colon cancer story
To think about when my story began, I guess it would have to be New Year’s Eve 2000. I went to a New Year’s Eve party in Connecticut (where I’m from) with my mother and step-father. That night my mom wasn’t feeling well. When I look back at the pictures, I can see that she did not look healthy. After the holiday, Mom saw her primary care physician who treated her for bronchitis and pneumonia. Early February came and her condition did not improve so they sent her to the hospital for x-rays and scans. It turned out that she had small cell lung cancer. Mom hated doctors and was…