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One of those days
As the sun begins to rise, I wonder what the day will bring, I wonder what I’ll do today, I wonder about the choices I’ve made, I wonder why the cancer came, I wonder why it left again, I wonder when the cycle ends. I wonder how my daughter feels, I wonder how I can protect her, I wonder if I’ll cry today, I wonder if I’ll take that walk, Feel the breeze and sun upon my worn-out skin. I wonder if my husband’s tired, And how he’s really feeling inside. I wonder how it feels, to hug my family, And what they’re doing now. I wonder if my life’s…
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I was laying on my sofa….
Friday had been a long day, Arabella, my daughter was on on her third day off school with a sore throat and runny nose. Even when she is poorly, she has so much energy and doesn’t understand the concept of rest; she’s six. By the evening, she had fallen asleep next to me on the sofa, she plays with my hair to comfort her; something she has done since a baby and something she has never grown out of. I don’t mind, it also brings me comfort having her so close to me and feeling needed. It is in those quiet moments, when I feel so much unconditional and crazy love…
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A special message
I just wanted to pop on and send a special message to my friends who are on active treatment or have had treatments/scans delayed, who have had bad news and those who have lost loved ones or are missing someone. I have chatted with several friends over the course of the holidays and while so many are celebrating (rightly so) many people have been scared, sick or broken hearted. These are the people that teach me humility, when I think my life isn’t perfect, one message can bring me back to reality and teach me to appreciate this life. So often I can get swept away with all the things…
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What can I say?
It’s been a long time since I have felt like writing or doing much of anything to be honest. As you know, I had a recurrence in August this year which required surgery to remove the small lesion (3cm) from the remaining liver. Surgery successfully removed the lesion and I was home after four days. I was recovering well but then started to feel fluish and was waking up with severe headaches. I went over to see Adam, my oncologist and bloods revealed an infection with CRP markers at 239, five being normal. I had a CT of the area, and they found an abscess measuring 5 cm by 7 cm,…
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Liver surgery number two!
A routine MRI of my liver on 11th October revealed a 30 x 11 mm lesion (still small) on the remaining anterior (outside) part of my right liver lobe. My previous surgery removed 60% of the right lobe and 10% of the left, as well as my gall bladder. My bloods also 11th showed CEA markers at 3.1, < 2.5 ng/ml being normal. This news has obviously come as a huge shock albeit I was not entirely surprised because stage 4 metastatic cells lay dormant and can often wake up. I am just happy it isn’t on the ‘fresh’ liver! That is why we raise awareness about symptoms and a…
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Martin’s Marathon
Martin Scheeper is running this year’s SANLAM Cape Town Marathon supporting and raising funds for the Filotimo Cancer Project. Martin is an ambassador for Filotimo, a charity he holds very close to his heart. Martin became involved with the charity when his partner Nikki, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer. Nikki was a Cancer Champion for Filotimo and was an avid campaigner, raising awareness about breast and all cancers. I had the privilege of meeting Nikki once at the Filotimo Charity Run, and I was in awe of despite how ill she was, she showed up with a smile on her face to support others; truly inspiring! Martin is…
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Why?
Why? Why? Why? How many times have you asked yourself this question? It’s not an exclusive question to someone who has or has had cancer. If the voice in your head was a real person, you would look at them like they were completely fucking mad! I read that in The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer, a great read by the way. My ‘whys’ used to be so much simpler, although at the time they seemed so significant. Many whys will go away or can be solved by actions, my ‘cancer why’ is forever present. So, when I was diagnosed, I asked myself why? Why me? What did I…
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Cancer and exercise
So, you had cancer and want to start exercising, this post is a no frills look at the benefits of exercise post cancer. Whether you were fit before or not, makes no difference, cancer came and went, and we have evolved, we are not the same physically or mentally. I say hit that reset button and find the routine that works for you. I got together with Tommy, a colon cancer survivor (read his story here) to give you a glimpse of his workouts and my own, and talk about how exercise helps us cope with those lovely post-cancer issues such as anxiety, depression and muscle loss (there’s a long…
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Contact me AGAIN!
Hey everyone! Over the last few weeks, I have been trying to fix an issue with my Contact Me form. I have not been receiving any ‘Contact Me’ emails as the plugin I was using did not allow me to see my entries ( I only recently found this out) and the entries were not going to my gmail inbox either ( I have also fixed this issue), so I have upgraded. Sadly, even though I have upgraded to a Pro plugin, I have lost all my entries. I had 63 entries ( a few were tests) I have been trying to retrieve them but it is not possible. So,…
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Chanez’s synovial sarcoma story
Life as I know it – The beginning of 2012 I thought: ‘Why is my leg so painful? Maybe I pulled a muscle while playing hockey, I should probably go to the physio.’ The beginning of 2020 (pre COVID), I thought: ‘I don’t want to die! I don’t want to feel pain! I really don’t want to die!’ These two thoughts seem worlds and years apart but are both related to the same thing, the awful thing I did not see coming – cancer. I was laying in bed one evening in August 2012 when I felt a lump in my left thigh. It was not painful.…
